Bonobo Love

-The electronic version of a 'Harvester' restaurant.

Monday, December 13, 2004

See what condition my condition is in..

Consonant reader,

I shiver and ache, from my head to my toes and all thats inbetween. The slightest movement is a labour, I am ultra tender and sensitive to pretty much anything; even going to the toilet has become a test of nerve as it feels like I'm pissing razor blades.

The glands in my throat has swollen on one side to the point where its a pain to turn my head without affecting it. I cannot swallow without a blinding flash of hurt throughout my neck.

My appetite has completely disappeared. In the last 2 days I've had half a boiled egg, two soldiers and a vanilla yogurt. To add insult, my taste has flown south also making the said items seem more like rubber, wet cardboard and chilled mud respectively.

Because it really hurts when I swallow, and by that I mean, I know if I have to swallow or not, I've not been sleeping at all well. I keep waking up each time I swallow, which is just horrible. I don't think I've slept deep or dreamt since Thursday night. The weekendwas a complete non- starter.

My girlfriend has been looking after me even though she's a bit ill herself.

*sobs*

BUT! Dry your eyes mate! At least I'm getting it before christmas eh? Aint that grand? Should be fine for New Year too.. If you're ill, get well soon too, its a shit. My hint: get ill as soon as possible so that your in tip top shape for the 25th onwards..

*Leaps up and sings 'Happy days are here again', knocks over the Beechams powders with dressing gown to start dancing in a cabaret style on the kitchen table*

(Crumb: Yes, I know I just mentioned the word 'Glands'..)

B x.

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